My Fashion Design Runway Show

This is the back of one of my final project garments.  'The Peacock'.  I entered the avaunt guard category and made my theme birds, just I could make this dress.  All of the dresses feature hand-dyed silk velvet that started white.  It took me a lot of the semester getting the fabric ready.  This piece features a train of peacock feathers with a peacock feather collar.  It looks amazing when the model walks.  I had the feather masks made custom for my designs from the place I purchase all the feathers.

I returned home from my mission not certain of what I was going to do next.  I really didn't like school.  I loved the learning, but the social part of it was so hard for me.  I know that I am a freak, but I do not need to be reminded of it for 4 hours in a day.  That was too much for me, so the thought of more college turned me off.  I had not been successful in the work sector.  I guess I am a complicated person.  I do not do well in a group environment, unless the people like me or whether they know how to take advantage of my talents and that doesn't happen very often.  My future looked uncertain. 

This is the front of the peacock dress.  I made all the trains removable and on this dress the long sleeves can be unlaced.  The bottom of the sleeve features an embroidered peacock, you can see it in the top pic.

And then I went to the mall.  I never go to the mall.  Nothing fits me there, so it is not often a place I want to go.  But the Thousand Oak mall used to have a food kiosk that specialized in wraps.  They basically put a salad in a tortilla, but I was taken with the dressing and quality of ingredients.  So I decided to go to the mall for a Tacone wrap.

I just happened to bring a crazy quilt purse I had recently made.  It wasn't very sophisticated, since it was only meant to be an experiment into how I could bring quilting out into another form.  But I hate purses and carrying my stuff so I grabbed my attempt at art to take the sting out of it. 

This is the actually purse I had made.  I was able to find it and take a pic.

I am not into shopping.  I have spent too much time in dressing rooms crying in frustration and despair.  Why couldn't I have cute ruffles on my skirts or fun fabrics?  Why am I reduced to wearing the clothes of a deranged housebound grandmother because I was big?  It felt like a personal attack and my mother and I fought about my clothing constantly.  It was hard enough to be fat, but add frumpy and I had no chance.  I had some very hard feelings against the Fashion "Industry".  I love the art of making clothing, but the business end is beyond ruthless.  Clothing is so cheap now, it is more costly in supplies and time to make yourself something.  That is why I gravitate towards putting the effort into costumes. It is impossible for me to get a good quality costume off the rack.

A grouping of tables were set up near me as I ate my lunch.  I spotted that it was Brooks college of Fashion Design.  I sat at my table working myself up into a lather for all the injustices "they" have made me suffer.    There was a lull in the traffic at the tables and I took that opportunity to complain to the woman manning the booth.  It wasn't her fault.  I just needed the outlet.  To my surprise she didn't get mad, but instead turn the discussion back on me.
        "Well, Why don't you do something about it?"  That question took me back.  "We can teach you to do something about it?"  I happened to have the purse I had made on my person and was able to show her some of my work.  She asked if I would like to go to Fashion college and I baulked.  I hated school.  I didn't know if I could suffer the humiliation again.  I said no, but she asked if she could meet me in my home and see my other projects.  She appealed to my vanity.  No one seemed to really care about my work, so I was excited.

This poor garment does not look good on film.  It started out as white silk velvet and I layered in blues and green into the black to match the feathers.    This piece is 'The raven' and I did a process called devore to burn the word 'nevermore' into the fabric.

She was a scout.  I didn't know anything about that, but she came to my home and I wanted to present myself the best I could.  I had tons of quilts and I showed her some of the dresses I had designed for myself.  My mother had an amazing seamstress working for her making doll clothing.  For my birthday my mother would pay her to sew a dress for me.  I picked out the fabrics from downtown LA and we would go to the fabric store to pick out the patterns.  I never wanted the pattern as it was shown in the picture.  I would want a sleeve from another design and the style of skirt from another.  It was during this time my mother showed me how to look beyond the fabric they used and see the shape and if I liked the style of the seams.  It was a huge amount of work and quite a cost to get that dress to fit me.  I would go for fittings.  And I would learn a lot about the process of making it bigger and the trials my mother and the seamstress would get into.  I would have to beg for that dress every year, but it helped me so much.  I had something beautiful that I wanted for once.

I was concerned with the sewing part of the fashion design school.  I did not want to sew.  I had tried through out my childhood to sew, but my mother and I think very differently when we create and her style of sewing confused me.  I once sewed and picked out a sleeve seam 6 times because my brain could not see how to attach it properly.  My mother compares sewing like putting together a 3D puzzle.  I told her I hate puzzles and gave up in frustration.  I cried many times trying to sew in my childhood.  That was why I did not want to do quilting.  And then my mind opened up to quilting because it in only a 2D puzzle.  The pieces go together to form a flat object and my mind could understand that.
I made this cloak to fit me, a size 24 or a tiny model, a size 8.  The fabric is gorgeous in person. The feathers are removable from the bottom hem.

So I was scared to go to Fashion design school.  It was the fear that held me back, even as the school started to offer me scholarships and other perks like deciding my classes.  I had to have Friday off to go home and while my classmates had a class I was given special permission to take the class with another major. 

This is 'The Parrot'.  If you look at the skirt you will see parrot heads devored(burned) into the fabric.  I did slashed of red, blue & yellow to mimic the colors of the tail or train which can be removed.  The sleeve is scalloped with a beaded waterfall detail.

So why did I end up going?  Two reasons: First my mother said to me while we were driving back from my interview.  "I would kill to be able to go to this school."  That statement pierced through the fear and started me thinking.  The second was being invited to the Annual fashion show for all the graduating students.  For the finale project we are asked to create a collection of 6 designs and then they are walked down the runway.  A lot of my family went to my Runway show and supported me, including 3 Aunts from out of town and a couple of cousins and all my brothers.  I do not ask people to come to my events, but I am very grateful that we shared that evening together.  My sister-in-law talked to the judges and found out that they were having trouble deciding between me and the girl they did decide to win.  I was quite angry because they did not realize that I had dyed all of my fabric and then put the patterns into the velvet.  They thought I had purchase the fabric, unlike the other girl, who you could tell made the designs on the fabric because they were pictures of herself.  It hurt so much until my father gave me this advice.  "Sometimes others need to win."  I thought about that and it soothed my soul.  I liked my work.  I liked my choices and I could live without the plaque. But before all of this, before I went to the school I was invited to see the Runway show and that was the smartest thing the school did to get me.  As I watched the show I could see in my minds eye my work walking down that stage.  I saw the peacock dress in my head while watching that show and I held onto the design for 2 years until I saw it walk down the runway in the flesh.  I cried it was so beautiful and meaningful to me and me alone.

I had a very interesting time at school.  They kind of taught me to sew, but I was so advance compared to the other students it amazed me.  It was working with the models and learn how to drape a garment and then take it off the form and have the pattern in front of me.  I began to see the 3 D puzzle.  It was mind-boggling to both my mother and I when I started sewing costumes.  I can see the shape of a person and knew how to sew the seam on an outfit to fit them.  I do not understand how.  I can just see it in my minds eye.  I can see the puzzle now.  I won a lot of awards.  But they don't mean anything to me.  The thrill passes.  It is the recognition of my work that makes a difference to me.  It is others seeing & understanding the time and effort that was put into my creation and that is a very rare thing to find versus the popularity. 

'The Flamingo' is my finale piece.  As a collection these garments not only follow the same theme, but I used the same fabric in different colors and the same use of a train.  This train with tons of ruffles came out so cute.  the pink bubble on top is made of a sheer pink with the black feathers inside.  I love the free form sleeves flowing with ruffles, black lace and feathers.  Again I layered the black and pink dye colors on the skirt and burned in flamingos with a chemical process.  I made a mistake and actually burned the fabric causing holes.  I could not redo the fabric, so I hand beaded all the flamingos, so there is a bit of sparkle.

I graduated with honers with another Associates degree, so do two Associates equal a Bachelors?

I am so grateful that I asked Laura Huse(Peacock & Parrot) & Jessica Jones(Raven & Flamingo) (their names at the time) to do me a favor and model my dresses for a professional camera studio to go into my portfolio.  If I had not done that then I would not have a record of these pieces.  They are too small for anyone in my family to wear, so they just hang in the closet.